Take Care of Yourself First and the Rest Will Take Care of Itself

It is about that time of year when most folks give up on their New Year’s resolutions. One of the reasons we make resolutions is to transform ourselves from the person we are now to the person we would like to become. A lot of us though get stuck “am-ing” instead of “doing.” For example, “I am going to exercise everyday” instead of actually going for a walk or run. The intention of “am-ing” is important. The hard part is translating it to doing. Consistently. In order to transform into the people we would like to become a shift in our thinking is necessary. A new mental framework that sets the stage for our becoming is needed. It starts with taking care of yourself first and trusting that the rest will take care of itself.

We have all heard the advice that you have to love yourself before you can truly love someone else so this is not a new idea. Maybe the distinction is that loving yourself is different (but related) to taking care of yourself. So the idea is for you to start with you. This week make it a priority to be nice to yourself. Put yourself ahead of other demands that require and compete for your attention; whatever that may mean to you. Do something nice for yourself. Most importantly you must throw away the “stock story” (a standard story that we tell ourselves or have been told so much that we believe it without examination) that you do not have time. It just is not true. You do have time. If you want to transform from what you are now to what you want to become it is essential that you create some space (time) to support and nurture your ideas. It is from this place that you can move beyond “am-ing” to doing.

Ok, so now we have the mental framework in place-take care of yourself first. Next, put your resolutions, goals, and/or dreams into action. Not many of us can do this in one flail swoop. So integrate them even in the smallest of ways in to your thinking, being, and doing. One way to do this is to tell people about them. Will it make you vulnerable? Maybe. But if you surround yourself with people who love and support you then by default they want what is best for you and can keep you accountable. For more on this idea see Joel Runyon’s post Surrounding Yourself.

Within this new mental framework that puts you first watch and listen closely for what happens as you implement your resolutions, goals, and dreams. If you are truly listening from this place then chances are your resolutions, goals, and/or dreams will expand into their becoming through new ideas. Just like water before a boil where little air bubbles are intermittently released from the bottom and sides of the pot, so too will ideas and new ways of thinking and being surface in you.

Here is a recap: Commit yourself to your “doing” rather than your “am-ing.” Implement your resolutions, goals, and/or dreams as much as you can in everyday. Surround yourself with people who will keep you accountable. All the while, watch and listen for what bubbles up to the top. If nothing else consider this a reminder. Be good to you!